Test Of Life
by pardon the interruption
Summary: HD FULL SUMMARY INSIDE: What would you do for love? How far would you go for love? Would you risk it all for love...or not?
1. Merry Christmas Part One

**Title:** "Test of Life"

**Rated: **R

**Warning: SLASH ALERT!** This story is a **strong** slash story…**serious** male/male relationship…and **sexual **content. This story does have a **plot**…and has a story a bit deeper than just a slash. But there willbe strong, serious, and sexual content. And there is also some choice language used and graphic descriptions to teen-angst situations. So **kiddies** go find another story to read, **homophobes** go find another story with straight characters, and **flamers** go find a newbie to flame.

**Summary: **Would risk your reputation and your status for love? Would you be willing to ignore gossip and rumors for love? Would you be able to dodge glances in the hallways for love? Would you leave your friends for love? Would you abandon your family for love? Would you go against all traditions for love? Or would you do nothing for love and never love again?

Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter find themselves in a relationship that has brought them to the brink of insanity. The Slytherin Prince, the most cunning and ambitious of all, finds himself vulnerable for the first time in his life and also finds jealousy can be found even in him. The Boy-Who-Lived, the brave hero against all odds, finds himself sinking further and further into a destructive depression and also finds the role of hero is to much even for him. Together they start down a dark and narrow path that will lead to the death of more than just themselves.

Characters will be tested as will the love of two people as they will soon find themselves taking the test of life.

**Author's Note: **It's been a while since I posted anything. But I think this story will make up for everything! I don't want to give anything away with the story…you'll just have to **read and review!** You know the drill with me…or if you don't…I accept all constructive criticism and deny all flamers because if you don't like the story that much…why did you read it in the first place? And take the time to write a review? I mean really. Anyways…and if you want, you can contact me on Myspace, Live Journal, Hogwarts Elite and You Tube…so if you want to contact me, simply ask for my account information in a review and I'll gladly get in touch with you. Well thanks for reviewing and I hope you like the story!

oh and please forgive any grammer/spelling errors. I'm sure there's a couple!

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_**Part One: Merry Christmas**_

"WHAT WAS SO BLOODY IMPORTANT THAT YOU FELT THE NEED TO TALK TO ME IN PUBLIC? ARE YOU TRYING TO RUIN MY REPUTATION! Or could it be…you're tired of being so fucking jealous of me you wanted to bring me down to the lowest level of society with you! You make me sick! You make me regret ever even giving you a second of my time! I'm way too good for you…I'm so far above you Potter…it's time you face facts and accept the obvious. I don't love you…I never did…and I never will. I pity you. I hate you. Yeah…that's right Potter…I HATE YOU! I BLOODY HATE YOU! So stop following me around like a love sick puppy!" The blonde-haired boy screamed as his piercing gaze shot through the infamous Harry Potter.

Draco Malfoy…was at the ripe age of sixteen and already looked more like his father in more ways than one. His platinum blonde hair was neatly parted down the middle to allow his growing hair to fall loosely against his face. His skin, resembled porcelain and seemed to perfect to touch. His eyes, an unnatural shade of silver, were just a glimpse of the cold boy he had grown to be. He had grown an inch taller and yet his slender frame prevented any weight to be added to his being. He was handsome…and he knew it maybe to much.

Draco Malfoy continued to look upon the raven haired boy below him with a look of disgust he never felt humble enough to hide. Draco folded his arms proudly across his chest as his nose rose to the sky. "You're Pathetic Potter. Look what you have reduced to. And to think I used to be the jealous one." Draco spat once more as he watched Harry force himself to his feet.

"You still are the jealous one Draco. You will always be the jealous one. That's what's so pathetic." Harry replied with a cold voice as he forced himself to return the look of disgust. Harry Potter, now a sixteen year old hero had grown to look like no one left alive. His dark locks had grown long and shaggy…not about to allow a brush run through it. His skin was slightly kissed from the rays of the sun thanks to Quidditch and working in the garden for his summers. His eyes, a striking shade of green, were just a glimpse of the hero he had grown to hate. Unlike many boys, he had had kept his boyish appearance. Still tall, he was short compared to his peers, and he had kept his lean frame that was kept in shape from his role as Seeker. He was handsome…and he refused to believe it…maybe to much.

"HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT!" Draco's fists tightened as he watched Harry smile at him mockingly. Without hesitation Draco pulled Harry up harshly by his collar and gracefully swung his fist towards the Gryffindor. His fist crashed into Harry's lip, busting it instantly. Draco curled his lips into a smirk as he followed a drop of blood down Harry's chin. He then released the boy from his grasp and watched him stagger backwards. A flicker of panic stained his cocky expression for a split second as he contemplated what he had just done.

It seemed as if the sheer sound of Draco's punch echoed through the very corridors in which the two had confronted each other in the midnight hours. It was past curfew, they we're the only ones awake in the world it seemed, and it was Christmas Eve at Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

Harry Potter's mouth filled with the taste of his own blood as he tried hard to keep his balance and looking up to Draco with such fear, shock, love and hate. He then felt himself being pulled forward and his sleeve roughly shoved up to reveal one of the many secrets the boy-who-lived kept from the world. Deep, recently healed cuts neatly placed in a straight line traveling up his once flawless skin.

"CUTTING YOURSELF AGAIN? So Dumbledore's precious pet has felt the need to do Lord Voldemort a favor. Why don't you just go a bit deeper next time…do us all a favor and stop wasting space!" Draco then slammed his right fist across Harry's cheek. Harry stumbled backwards once more as he raised his shaking hand up to his already swelling face. Before Harry could react Draco had shoved him up against the river-stone wall of the castle.

"DRACO STOP! PLEASE!" Harry pleaded while trying to suppress the Slytherin Prince's previous words from replaying in his mind.

"No. This time you have gone too far! You _knew_ the rules…and yet you talk to me in broad daylight…in front of everyone…in the dinning hall. What was going through your mind? You forget your place Pot-"

"I think you're the one who forgot their place. You're my boyfriend…lover and my best friend…what was going through your mind when you just hit me?" Harry interrupted.

"Shut up with that talk. It's that kind of thinking that makes you weak. I'm not your boyfriend…I may be your lover…but only because I have needs and you're the easiest way to have my needs met. Consider yourself lucky. I refuse to be in the same room with a majority of this pathetic excuse for a school." Draco continued to talk down to Harry who was so close to tears he couldn't keep eye contact.

"But all those things you told me…after that night…when your father-"

"I didn't know how gullible you really are Potter. You should know by now…charm is my strong points…as well as dishonesty."

"Why…won't you love me?" Harry spoke barely above a whisper as if afraid to even ask.

"I won't love you Harry James Potter because I deserve more than you and I deserve better than you…I deserve the world and then some…and you…have barely a grain of sand to offer to me." Draco watched as Harry pried himself from his grasp and down the hall.

"OH NO YOU DON'T! I KNOW WHERE YOU'RE GOING! I DON'T WANT ANYONE THINKING I MAKE YOU CUT YOURSELF YOU FREAK!" Draco screamed as he ran and tackled Harry.

Like dominos they fell to the floor. Draco on top of Harry and Harry sobbing below him. Harry's face pressed against the cold stone floor as he tears created designs on the dusty stones under him.

"Do you want to know why I started talking to you today? Do you want to know why I broke the rules? Do you want to know?" Harry asked motionless.

"Yes…I am curious to see what possessed you to break _my _rules."

"…I-It's hard…for m-me to say…" Harry's shaking voice trailed off.

"Oh stop the dramatics." Draco spat as he slowly began to stand up. He dusted off his clothing as he waited for Harry to speak.

"I-I'm…"

"Just say it!"

"Draco…I'm sick…"


	2. Merry Christmas Part Two

**Author's Note:** First I want to reply to my first reviewers!

**Yuki: **Thank you for the review of course! Jerk-Draco is true to his character so I wanted to keep it that way…jerk or not…Draco is still the best right?

**Dray-Kun: **Thank you too for the review! Draco is a freaking jerk…and that's why we love him! He's my favorite character…I find myself just drooling over him and having the urge to smack him and say "Be nice to Harry!" and of course "SMIRK ALREADY!" Thanks for the applause as well! Thanks again!

Well this chapter is just a continuation from chapter one…it's kind of short…but you get the point. So I'll leave it at that and of course **read and review**!

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_**Part Two: Merry Christmas Part Two**_

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Harry's voice was muffled…his face still pressed against the floor. He remained lying there…faced away from Draco and the prayer for the night to be over racing through his mind.

"STAND UP POTTER! I can't hear a word you're saying lying there like an idiot!"

Harry slowly picked his exhausted body up off of the floor and turned to face Draco. As usual…those silver eyes shown no emotion…no warmth…no comfort.

"I'm sick."

"What do you mean sick? Go to the fucking infirmary then. Is that all you were going to talk to me about earlier? Your sick…you nearly risked my reputation just because you have a runny nose. I swear Potter…"

"No…I'm sick…I-I don't…think I'll be able to get…better." Harry interrupted softly.

"You're even more pathetic than I thought. Trying to get me to believe that rubbish in order to get me to be your stupid little boyfriend eh? Potter…I'm somewhat flattered that you want to be with me so bad…heck who wouldn't…but-"

"NO YOU SELFISH ARROGANT BIG HEADED SNAKE! I'M SICK! THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME! And for once I wanted to believe that you could think of someone besides yourself and help me through this. FOR ONCE…COULD YOU AT LEAST ACT LIKE YOU CARE? I love you…despite all the rules, ridicule and fights you put me down with…despite the fact you have cheated on me with half of the school…despite the way you purposefully put me down to make you feel good…and despite the fact you will never love me…I have always loved you. ALWAYS! And now I come to you telling you I'm dying from some unknown illness and what do you have to say? Oh wait…let me…you probably want me to do Lord Voldemort a favor and go ahead and die…I mean I am wasted space." Harry took a deep breath. Never before had he spoke in such a way to Draco…mainly in fear of causing him to hate him more than he already did.

Draco stood there…speechless for the once. He stood there…he examined Harry. He looked tired…pale…and thinner than usual. Maybe he was sick. Did he say dying? He had to be exaggerating. But He knew Harry wouldn't say such a thing unless he meant it.

Many thoughts, questions and images raced through Draco's mind until he felt a single, frozen, tear travel down his face. Harry Potter was dying. _His_ Harry Potter was dying.

Still standing, motionless, speechless, he wanted nothing more than to reach out but…Malfoy's don't reach out.

"Well…I'm done…that's all I had to say…maybe I'll see you around." Harry sighed as he turned and started walking away.

Draco was screaming, calling out to Harry, pleading for him to come back…but no words escaped from his lips. Then before he could think another thought he noticed Harry stop. Dead in his tracks he stopped walking. Maybe Draco didn't have to say anything for him to realize he needed to come back.

"Harry. It's alright. You can come back. We can keep talking. I don't mind…" He started to smile until Harry turned back around with an unreadable face.

"I forgot to tell you…I bumped into Blaise…he said he's waiting up on you in bed…Oh and Happy Christmas Malfoy." Harry then continued walking until Draco could see him no more.


	3. Hot Cocoa and Licorice

Thanks everyone for being so patient! All of your waiting has paid off…here's the next chapter! Please read and review...that's my only motivation!

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**_Part Three: Hot Cocoa and Licorice_**

Draco shoved his icy hands in his pockets as he forced himself to turn and make his way back to the Slytherin common room. Harry's words echoed through his mind over and over again until he bumped into someone.

"Hello Draco…I was on my way to find you handsome." Spoke a deep voice. Draco lifted his weary gaze to the last person he wanted to see, Blaise Zabini. His dark hair neatly combed from an even part. His dark eye full of lust as they seemed to trace Draco's every outline.

"What do you want Zabini?" Draco asked barely under his breath.

"You know what I want." Blaise replied as he shined a smirk of his own as he leaned against the wall.

"Go away Zabini…I'm not in the mood." Draco snapped as he continued walking only to feel a large hand grab his arm and pull him back.

"Not in the mood? It's Christmas fucking Eve Malfoy!"

"Get your oversized hand off of me or I will give you a Christmas present from my fist." Draco spat as he tensed his arm up.

"Oh really…is that right?"

"You think I'm kidding?" Draco was quick to reply as he felt Blaise's grasp tighten.

"Playing hard to get tonight are we?"

"I'm not playing games with you Zabini let me go you fucking bastard" Draco spat once again as he felt a strong right hand across his face.

"You better watch who you insult Malfoy…we wouldn't want to mess up that pretty little face of yours."

"Fuck you." Draco spat as he shoved the boy until he was out of reach.

"Alright that's it!" Blaise roared as he charged at the disadvantaged Draco. He grabbed him by the collar and shoved his against the stone wall and lifted him off the ground with ease.

"Whose there? Show yourself!" echoed a voice. It was the ever present Argus Filch who walked the halls every night of his life just to find that one student out past curfew.

"You're lucky Malfoy…consider the fact that you're not dead…my early Christmas present." Blaise whispered in Draco's ear making the hairs on the back of his neck stand up as he was dropped back to his feet. Blaise took off running down the hallway. Draco decided to run as well. But not to the common room, he didn't want to have another confrontation with his so called friend Blaise Zabini.

Draco ran as fast he could not knowing where he was going. He twisted his way through the winding corridors and up and down flights of stairs and in and out doors. He felt as if he was running from everything and everyone. A single tear fell from his eye, followed by another as he continued to run. He ran until he missed a step and fell to the floor with such force he began to see small stars dance about his vision.

"Mister Malfoy? Can you hear me?" spoke a soft old voice. Draco felt himself being raised up by a pair of wrinkled hands.

"Professor Dumbledore?" Draco asked as he slowly made out the familiar face.

"That was some fall…might I ask what you are doing out running about so many hours after curfew…and on Christmas Eve of all nights."

Draco was helped to his feet. He felt exhausted, not just from running but from the thoughts of his beloved Harry Potter dying was enough to kill a man.

"Would you care to have a chat over some warm cocoa? I'm sure I could find some licorice snaps if you wish."

"Save it for another student Professor…I'm not in need of your pity." Draco spat as he stood from the floor and dusted off his robes.

"Pity…I merely offer a cup of cocoa and candy on this grand holiday eve."

"I beg to differ Professor; this eve is far from grand."

"Ah…I knew something was on your mind, now come…I insist you come into my chambers for some hot cocoa and you will tell me what's troubling you." Dumbledore replied as his eyes sparkled from the sheer kindness his heart was known for.

"Sir, its Christmas…surely you have better things to do."

"Oh nonsense…now come along."


	4. The Astronomy Tower

Well here's another chapter…I was feeling quite inspired. So I'll keep it short and say just read and review and tell me how you like it!

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**_Part Four: The Astronomy Tower_**

Draco made his way into the old man's room. It was decorated much like the man usually is in his appearance…elegant and in order. Moving Portraits were hung here and there on the dark hued walls. While the many bookshelves had knick knacks neatly placed about each shelf. Candles were lit allowing scents to float into the air as the many shadows danced about wildly from the breeze of the door closing.

"Now make yourself at home Mister Malfoy…and drink as much hot cocoa as you wish. But do tell me what's bothering you." Dumbledore offered as he gestured to the cups of hot cocoa placed on the coffee table in front of the sofa in which Draco plopped down onto.

Draco battled within his thoughts about whether to come out and say what's on his mind or not. Malfoy's don't talk to just everyone. Plus he didn't want to even begin to try to explain the entire story of Harry and him…that would take hours…plus…

"Why don't we start with what Harry told you in the downstairs corridor a while ago?" Dumbledore interrupted Draco's thoughts with a smile as he sipped from his cup and crossed his leg.

"How the hell did you know about that? What are you doing…reading my mind or something…what kind of spell is that?" Draco frantically asked.

"Calm down…Mister Potter came to talk to me just before I bumped into you…or rather you ran into me."

"Harry was here?" Draco asked with a hint of desperation only to have Dumbledore nod slightly.

"So could you tell me…exactly what's…well…what's wrong with him?"

"Ah…Mister Malfoy, I'm afraid that's not my place to say. You should be asking Mister Potter that don't you think?"

"Well we aren't exactly on great speaking terms." Draco sighed.

"Well I suggest speaking is the best way to solve speaking terms." Dumbledore smiled.

"I hate the way you're always so happy." Draco spoke his mind.

"I hate the way others won't allow themselves to do the same." Dumbledore replied as he leaned comfortably back in the over-sized chair. "Well Mister Malfoy…may I ask you a question?"

"I suppose."

"Do you love Harry?"

Draco was shocked at the question…even though he was so accustomed to the question. He used to ask himself that everyday of his life. "Well…I…um…"

"It's a simple question. Don't complicate it with more words than the answer."

"Yes." Draco blurted out just as fast.

"Then instead of telling me…why don't you tell Harry that…I think you'll find that would be a great way to end Christmas eve…don't you agree?"

"W-well…i…he's probably already back in his common room…I couldn't talk to him tonight." Draco made an excuse.

"If I know Harry…he won't be back in the Gryffindor Common room just yet…he's probably in the astronomy tower, I used to do the same thing when I had things on my mind. He's more like me than I give him credit for."

"Even so…I can't just come on and say something as weak and insignificant as that…I won't."

"Ah…but that's where I hear your father speaking…not yourself. You know you're way to the door…you can either go back to the Slytherin common room or to the astronomy tower where love waits…I know you'll make the right decision."

Draco for once began to put away the "Malfoy" way…and stood and made his way out of the door and began to run down the hallway and found the small stairway that lead directly towards the astronomy tower. As Draco made his way up the stairs he felt the chill of the winter air brush his features from the tower.

He made it to the top where the open tower was like a rush of cool air. And there…standing like a slightly swaying statue was Harry Potter.

"Harry…look…I'm…I'm sorry about what I said earlier…but I want you…to know something…I do love you. I love you more than anything in this world. And I can't even believe I'm doing or saying any of this…Merlin only knows what spell I must be under to say this but I love you!" Draco felt himself smile…genuinely as he waited for Harry to turn to him with a smile and say how much he had waited to hear those words.

Draco waited…his smile began to fade as he heard nothing but silence. What the fuck? Was he just going to ignore him? Surely he wasn't still mad at him after that?

"Well don't just stand there! You have to say something! I didn't just tell you I fucking love you for you to stand there!" Draco snapped as he approached the raven-haired boy. "Harry?" He asked he peered around to see the boy's face. Draco's eyes were met by a pair of dull green eyes that were looked as if in a trance. "Harry?" Draco called once more this time Harry's eyes rolled back as his body fell into Draco's grasp. "HARRY!"


	5. I'm Sorry

**EMO:** Thank you so much for the review...this chapter is for you! Hope you like! Your review inspired me to finish this fic!

For the rest of you know the drill…read and review!

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**_Part Five: I'm Sorry_**

Draco Malfoy's hopes for a night of being in the arms of his golden lover talking about anything and everything until the sun rises in the winter sky were shattered as he carefully laid the pale, raven-haired boy on the stone floor. Draco frantically looked around from help that would never come. He felt his hand tighten his hold of his own hair. He then jerked his hands down to Harry as he shook him harshly. "HARRY! WAKE UP! HARRY!" Draco continued to shake the boy as he continued to get no response until he watched Harry's eyes flutter open behind his circular spectacles. "HARRY! CAN YOU HEAR ME?"

"Unfortunately…yes." Harry softly replied as rubbed his temples gently.

"Sorry." Draco replied as he stood and offered a hand to Harry who was almost hesitant to react. He then placed his hand in Draco's and allowed himself to be pulled to his feet. He faltered only as he began to feel himself losing his balance until he felt an arm snake its way around his waist.

"Let's get you to bed." Draco spoke in such a way Harry couldn't help but relax.

"Don't take me to the Gryffindor common room!"

"Um…alright…might I ask why not?"

"Well would you like to hear Hermione's high-pitched squeals and Ron's idiotic grunts as they make love as if they in fact succeeded in a silencing charm?"

"I see…well then I guess we can ask Professor Dumbledore If we can crash in his spare bedroom." Draco suggested as they slowly started to make their way down the stairs.

"Thought you didn't like the man?"

"Thought you didn't ask so many questions." Draco smirked. Harry instantly bit his lower lip slightly. Oh how he loved it when Draco smirked. The two continued to walk down the stairs and down the hallway until they reached Dumbledore's elaborately carved door and silently walked in to find a sight that made them both take a double take. Professor Dumbledore, in all of his sophistication was stretched about the chair hugging a bowl of Licorice snaps for dear life with a smile from ear to ear. His eyes we're slightly open, but he was sound asleep as he snored louder than thunder.

"Come on…if the old fool is sleeping there…we get his bedroom." Draco whispered as they walked into the room careful not to make a sound until the reached a small door leading to Dumbledore's master bedroom, decorated in reds and golds.

"Great…why am I not surprised the old man's still a Gryffindor fan." Draco said bluntly as he walked closer to the four post bed and allowed Harry to climb lazily into the covers. Draco, being his usual immodest self, teasingly stripped to his famous silk boxers revealing is his pale yet very defined body he showed off any chance he got. Harry smiled as he felt his face flush ever so slightly.

"Don't get too excited over there Potter." Draco smirked as he climbed into bed and purposefully stretched out his arm lovingly. Harry sighed loudly as he couldn't help but move into his lover's arms.

"Why must you tease me Draco…don't think I will forgive you what you said to me earlier." Harry sighed as he ran his tongue over his scab over his busted lip.

Draco reached his hand over to Harry's lip and ran his fingertips over his lip. "I'm sorry Harry." Draco finally said as he allowed his fingertips to gently fall down his chin as he traced his jaw line and up and down his throat.

"I've heard that one before." Harry tried to hold back a sigh of pleasure.

"I am sorry Harry. I was just angry…"

"You know you need to work on your anger Draco…you scare me sometimes." Harry admitted.

Draco sighed as he couldn't find the words to respond. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry…be aware that you have a problem." Harry replied as he shifted closer to the warmth of Draco.

"Harry…are you dying?" Draco blurted out trying not to show emotion. Harry took a deep breath as he felt Draco's breathing change to short breaths.

"I'm not afraid to die…"

"…Then…what are you afraid of?"

"I am afraid of leaving you in this world you hate so much."

Draco felt his heart of ice shatter with the sound of those very words. Harry then felt a small drop of liquid drop on his face. He looked up to see Draco's silver eyes producing tears that we're rarer than any gem or jewel.

"Draco…"

"Please don't leave me…please…please don't leave me." Draco sobbed as he buried his face in the crease of Harry's neck.

Harry suppressed his tears, he had to be strong. "Don't talk like that Draco…please…it's Christmas…let me enjoy it with you." Harry said barely above a whisper.


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